I've been thinking a lot lately about the idea of purpose. More specifically, the conflict brought about by the belief in individual purpose - manifest destiny, if you will. When I speak of purpose, I mean what a person is specifically and uniquely built to be and do. Furthermore, I believe that what a person is built to be and do is usually in line with his or her deepest felt desires and dreams, and that the realization of those dream desires would result the fulfillment of purpose.
This is usually something that I only tell my very closest of friends, but I'll share a piece of it now. I have always known that I have a specific purpose for being alive. As a side note, I believe that everyone does, but the older I get, the more I realize the problems inherent in that belief. Philosophers have been arguing the point for millennia, but suffice it to say, I have always been keenly aware that there is a purpose for me.
I'm not exaggerating when I say always. As early as I remember being self-aware, there has always been a presence within, a fire in my bones, as though the Muses themselves had chosen to seek harbor in the confines of my mortal frame. I haven't always known what my purpose was; my life story is and always has been a process of figuring out the finer details. At a very young age, I determined that the largest portion of my purpose is to be a writer, and I'm still not much further in understanding of it than that. But it's always been there, simmering just under my skin.
The notion that haunts me most these days is the conflict that the idea of purpose brings about. I have said I believe that all human beings have a purpose, and that purpose is connected with individual hopes and dreams. I just as readily believe that the vast majority of people do not ever discover their purpose, much less pursue it and see it realized in their lives. Most, in fact, spend their lives trapped in careers, trades, vocations, or social obligations that discourage or prohibit the discovery of purpose. This does not sit well with me. Far from being a purely sentimental, Western ideology - for I fully realize that any talk of the Individual as an independent entity within the Whole Society is a predominantly Western paradigm - far from being purely sentimental, the idea of purpose poses a much more real problem. Doesn't the world need people to do things that are not in line with their dream desires and, therefore, their purpose?
I do not mean to be derogatory at all. I have nothing but respect for all public servants of every kind, but speaking from experience, I don't personally know of anyone who believes it is his or her purpose to be a sanitation worker, driving a garbage truck and retrieving all of society's refuse. But we need these people. I don't know of many people, though a few, who feel most fulfilled working in an office for eight or nine hours a day. But we need these people. I'm sure no one in Asia, working in clothing manufacture "sweatshops," or on electronics assembly lines, feels his or her purpose is most fulfilled by that work. But, until social justice and capitalism find balance, like it or not, we need these people. I hope the crux of the conflict is clear by now. If I believe in a world where everyone has a unique purpose, and ought to be able to pursue that purpose to its utter fulfillment, how then would society function at all?
There's more to say on this, but I've said too much for one post already. I've got to go to bed, and teach English to 7th graders in the morning, but I'll finish this another time.
- Benjamin Beam -
